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In Punjab, India, where practically every household likes to boast of at least
one relative or the other living abroad, an NRI (Non-resident Indian) son-in-law
is still considered a good catch. Down south, in Andhra Pradesh and Kerala,
numerous brides wait to immigrate to foreign lands where their NRI husbands
reside. Unfortunately, a good number of these marriages end in divorce even
before they begin. The bride arrives on the foreign soil where her NRI husband
resides only to find that he is married or has a relationship going with another
woman. Or she may not even make it to her husband's home abroad. Her dowry being
the only reason the man married her in the first place. Once that has been
delivered, he has no use for her anymore.
The presence of several Asian women help groups in most parts of the world where
a large number of the Indian diaspora reside (Manushi in New Jersey and ASHA in
Washington D.C. in the U.S. for example), is testimony to the fact that all is
not well with Indian women abroad. These groups offer all manner of help -
legal, financial, shelters, etc. where an Asian woman experiencing trouble can
interact freely with faces and accents that are more familiar than those of the
citizens of her new country. Many a woman prefers to take the help of such
groups to set up home for herself abroad, rather than return to India where she
is likely to face social stigma and/or not be welcomed by her own relatives who
think of her divorced status as a burden too heavy to carry. But there are
others who still prefer to return to a supportive family network in India to
recover from the trauma of a broken marriage before they initiate legal
proceedings to get their financial and custodial rights.
By and large, divorce issues involving custody, finances, property, etc. are
more quickly and 'cleanly' dealt with in countries like the U.S. for example.
However, legal fees abroad can be quite high and a woman whose finances are
controlled by the husband may not have access to such money. The best thing for
a couple who has mutually decided on divorce is to work the settlement out
together and only approach a lawyer for essential paperwork. But divorce is
usually so traumatic that both husband and wife may not pay attention to the
finer details initially just because they are in a hurry to get out of a bad
situation and move ahead with their lives. Making legal decisions that may
impact one's long-term future while going through an emotional and stressful
situation such as divorce is not advisable at all.
A longish period of separation before divorce is initiated, therefore, makes
sense. Both spouses are able to set up new living arrangements, take care of the
emotional needs of children if any, and let the reality of their decision sink
in. If they want to initiate divorce proceedings in the country of residence,
they have to follow the rules governing divorce in that country. But NRIs or
Indian nationals planning on returning to India before initiating divorce, are
well advised to seek the help of a lawyer in India before they step out of the
country they reside in. The lawyer will not only be able to advise them of
Indian rules governing divorce but also let them know if they are better placed
to resolve some or all of the divorce issues abroad or in India. There are
several reliable and helpful websites on the Net, like nrilegalservices.com for
example, which can provide this information.
In India, all major religions have their own laws governing divorce and separate
regulations exist regarding divorce in interfaith marriages. Hindus, Buddhists,
Sikhs and Jains are governed by the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955; Christians by the
Indian Divorce Act, 1869 (this has recently been updated to give Christian women
similar rights as Christian men); Parsis by the Parsi Marriage and Divorce Act,
1936; and Muslims by the Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act, 1939, which
provides the grounds on which women can obtain a divorce (men still being able
to get away by just uttering the words 'talaq talaq talaq'). Civil
marriages and inter-community marriages and divorces are governed by the Special
Marriage Act, 1956. Other community specific legislation includes the Native
Converts' Marriage Dissolution Act, 1866 that allows a Hindu to appeal for a
divorce if a spouse converts to Christianity.
In several Western countries more than 15 reasons (such as 'incompatibility')
are considered sufficient grounds for divorce. In India only five reasons are
considered adequate for initiating the proceedings: Adultery, Cruelty,
Desertion, Impotency, and Chronic Disease are the categories under which divorce
is allowed. The interpretation of all these categories varies but the economic,
legal, and social ramifications of divorce are generally harsher for women than
men. Women have a harder time gaining and keeping the custody of their children,
negotiating and receiving child support money from their spouses and, if granted
alimony, actually being able to enforce the provision after the law has declared
the verdict. Many women, especially from the large middle class population,
cannot rely on their families for financial and even emotional support because
many Indian parents feel they have discharged their obligations to a daughter by
arranging her marriage and providing a dowry. Dowry (especially jewellery which
is considered 'streedhan' ) is supposed to be returned after divorce
but once again there is a difference between getting a favourable verdict and
actually being able to have it enforced. Also, the social stigma attached to
divorce can attach itself to the entire household to which the woman belongs,
making it difficult to marry off other eligible daughters. Divorced women,
especially those with children, have a much harder time getting remarried than
divorced men. They also struggle harder, face more economic hardship, and are
less likely to ever again have a normal social life compared to their male
counterparts.
Despite all these problems, India has changed with respect to the status of
women and continues to. In urban India today, there are many women who are more
educated, confident, economically well-off, and aware of their rights than there
were even ten years ago. Instead of putting up meekly with cruelty and adultery
they are likely to and do initiate divorce of their own accord, call in the
police to hand over dowry-hungry spouses, do not allow one bad marriage to
prevent them from seeking happiness again, and/or are content to simply set up
loving and economically sound single family homes for themselves and their
children.
You can send us your query now on
query@nrilegalservices.com or click on
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